I heard a gun shot and ran to find my Harvey lying in the grass peaceful and still. There was no reason for anyone to take his life. He wasn't anywhere he wasn't supposed to be and he wasn't doing anything wrong. I will never comprehend this senseless act. I will never understand it.
All of a sudden, I have the energy to feel again, and I am angry, broken, confused, and sad. I have the energy to stay up all night, drown my sorrows in whiskey, and feel so much more than I have in years. It hurts my heart and boggles my mind.
Harvey spent over two years nursing me back to health, and thanks to him, I am almost there.
My body is mending and feeling whole again, but I don't know how to heal my heart without Harvey. I am doing my best to keep moving and working the emotions out of my body through daily walks and many tears. When I am still, this loss covers me like a weighted blanket that I can't get out from. I can’t imagine making peace with such a cruel act that resulted in an unnecessary loss.
I have spent the majority of the past two years snuggling that dog. He took his role seriously. He comforted me on the couch, in bed, and in my reclining chair every day. He gave me a gigantic sense of confidence during an incredibly hard time. He was stable and silly and sweet and he loved me unconditionally when I was most frustrated with myself. We were incredibly bonded, in such a short time. Harvey was the funniest and most affectionate dog I have ever known and I can’t thank him enough for choosing me as his human.