Pinnacle of Muck

I've been sporting a cane and it's not for fashion. With my new pulsing antibiotic treatment I feel like there are holes being drilled through my hip sockets, ankle, knee, elbow and wrists, making me shake, weak and grouchy from pain. The doctor says the infection is nesting, seeking refuge in my joints instead of going for my organs. This is a good thing. 

A year and a ½ ago I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. I was treated and didn't get better. For awhile I thought maybe I was just recovering from the 2 months of antibiotics and steroids. Then I started getting more tests, blood work, an echocardiogram, a heart monitor, allergy testing, a nasopharyngeal swab that nearly touched my brain (don't YouTube this) twice. I travelled the region seeking new doctors. I searched in vain for a specialist that had all the answers. 

Every time I received a new diagnosis or swallowed a new pill I held my breath and crossed my toes. I wished for a ticket back to normal. I have been labeled with a Patent Foramen Ovale (hole in the heart) , Hashimoto Thyroiditis (autoimmune thyroid disease), a mold allergy, vitamin D deficiency, chronic fatigue, polyuria, polydipsia, polyarthralgia, systemic inflammatory response syndrome, unspecified viral infection, headache syndrome, visual disturbances, volume depletion, tick-borne relapsing fever, fibromyalgia. 

I have been paleo, vegan, ketogenic. At one point I have given up sugar, grains, coffee, alcohol, legumes, carbs, nightshades and root vegetables. I have consumed gallons of bone broth, sauerkraut, supplements, vitamins. I have seen the 3 best acupuncturists and herbalists in this area.  I have been prayed for. I have done yoga and I have drank my fair share of whiskey. I have detoxed, rebounded and I have slept for weeks. 
Eight months ago we moved out of our house and into the barn. We had discovered a toxic mold issue in our home. It had obviously taken a toll on my immune system and health. I spent months sleeping in the fresh air, through freezing temperatures with no walls. In my most adventurous years, I was never fond of winter camping. We thought I would finally get better. I didn't. 

Lyme Disease is so frustrating because there is not a clear test or a well known effective cure. Most Lyme patients spend years experimenting with treatments, diets, and making huge life changes. 

I tell myself 100 times a day that “I'm ok”. I filled an entire wall with inspiring quotes, beautiful photos of people that I admire and love, letters that I have received, cards and drawings from dear friends. I look at it everyday. Nothing was working. 

So I got a puppy.